Poetry of the Heart

So I've spent the last few weeks ranting and discussing issues that either irritate me, puzzle me, or encourage me. In these discussions, its clear to me that this is the way that I find God, through discussion, questioning, researching, argueing, and hopefully, finding. What I do little of, however, is create stories, poems, haikus, songs, or any other form of rhyme and recital. Then I read the Psalms, I read Homer's "Odyssey", and I see the power of poetry. It expresses things in ways that normal sentence structure couldn't. I exposes a part of my heart that I would rather keep hidden. It makes me vulnerable. And I don't like being vulnerable. I hate it, in fact. So i keep that part away from God.

If I'm so slow to express that kind of love for God, why is it natural for me to get all romantic and gushy for a relationship I might be in? Why is it easier for me to write a poem for Valentine's Day and not for my Lord and Savior? Is it because I know that vulnerability with the girl will always go over well? Probably. Is it because I want to express those feelings in a unique manner, so that the girl knows it's different and special? Definitely. Here's the kicker though...When I do that with God, its a huge step..it means being exposed to Him, to be vulnerable to the One that sees my every move, knows my every thought, and hears my every prayer. With the girl, ii might mean more intimacy, more seriousness, and more snuggles (my favorite! :) ), with God, it means more sin must be removed, it means more lines in the sand must be drawn, and it means more self-examination. That scares the daylights out of me.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately. Not worship songs, although I think worship is great, I prefer to hear songs that are about God, dedicated to Him, but not produced for the specific purpose of corporate worship. I like hearing songs that are vulnerable, that are painful, and that expose the singer or writer for who they are. Let me give some of my favorite examples:

"would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
don't be surprised if I collapse
down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this"

-Somewhere In Between- by Lifehouse

"I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
The battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
And wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak,
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin and soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart"

-Worlds Apart- by Jars of Clay

"Father up above
Why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love is all around"

-Christmas Song- by Dave Matthews Band

"I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I’m still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for"

-I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For- by U2

These are the poetry verses of my heart. I just wanted to dedicate this post to my Savior...call me corny, but it's all that I can think about today.